By now we know that Owenism is a lazy religion of excess, debauchery, and (wylie) tomfoolery. But finally, some rules have been handed down - straight from the man himself! In order to be a proper Owenist, it has been established as necessary to follow a few basic tenets, their addenda, appendices, ephemera, etc. and any heretofore unmentioned laws reserved to your local Owenist clergy.
Tenet #1 What are you talking about? Send Owen some money! .... to help build a monastery or something.
Tenet #2 Write a thesis about Hemingway's Old Man and the Sea. A radical feminist teacher will laugh at you, then forget what you were talking about. Biblical allegory my ass!
Tenet #3 In case of emergency, keep a dime in your shoe! It may help you bargain for your worthless life.
Follow these and the way to salvation is assured! Sway from the righteous path, and you'll find yourself hiding under the bedsheets, cowering in fear!
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